Here's a smidge ... a thought. Reflection.

I was going over my "Satine Phoenix Guide to Sensual living" book today with the Writer and we were talking about different things and the thought about body image had been brought up. Its kind of strange that we live our whole lives in these shells/temples and we forget that we co exist with these shells. Many of us have body image issues. Some let the issues get the better of them and others seem to do just fine. I lost 25 lbs this year which means I gained 25 lbs in the past 4 years. Lots of life changes have ebbed and flowed my way to now. It was really strange looking back at my life. There were parts that were vibrant where I didn't have any body image issues and parts that were stagnant that I had the worst body image issues. I'm at a point right now where I'm on the up and up so its easy to reflect on this. 

Ready... go.

When i'm true to myself I find I have the least worry about my body. When i'm balanced: career, fitness, social I no longer have the worry about myself. I can splurge and because my happiness is so vibrant my body takes care of itself. That said, when i'm happy I gym and run and play and jump and laugh and all of these things up my metabolism. I want to eat cleaner food and share it with my friends, even better quality splurge foods. Positivity and having a sunny disposition by default help too down to when I eat too much candy or something. When i'm happy and eat, it processes through my body differently than when I eat bad out of being emotional or sad. These little things really make a difference. 

After being such a fitness monkey for so many years and then spending the past 3 years in a stagnant state of depression and restriction its no wonder I gained so much unhappy weight. My wings were clipped and I couldn't be myself. I wonder how many other people feel that way. I didnt' even realize it was happening and it wasn't until now, until the divorce, that I realize what I was doing to myself. I'm just happy I had the strength and the deep inner subconscious confidence to recreate my reality back into the reality I know to be true to me. 

We are all very individual people that want to make sense out of our lives by identifying with others. We can't mistake identifying with others with becoming what others want us to be. This conflict doesn't stay within the walls of our mind it shows through to different parts of our lives. This is an important truth in life. Needing someone specific around without the Co-dependence of needing just anyone around. We all get lonely. Its our primal nature to pair off with one (or more). But changing one's self to fit into someone else's life because it seems to make sense isn't being true to yourself. 

Sometimes you have to find out the hard way. It doesnt' mean that its a bad thing or a mistake. Sometimes relationships like that are lessons. Life is a lesson. It takes a lifetime to get to know yourself. However long that lifetime is. 

How does this all fit into the idea of body image? If you don't know who you are, how can you be comfortable in your own skin?

Ok, that's all for today. These are just personal thoughts reflecting on my own experiences in my very individual life. A life that is slightly askew from the box...