The interesting Cuckold phenominan

To many, cuckolding is simply the excitement of a woman knowing what she wants, and going after it... and getting it.    A male, who knows his place and worships his sexually charged woman.

Granted, the dictionary speaks of a cuckold as a man whose wife is cheating on him.   Modern times, however, describe a cuckold as a man who accepts his wife (or partner) dating others and enjoys it.  Hence, it is not cheating.   Just good, clean (or dirty) fun.

Below is an article I've found that, whether you agree or not, does lend some thought into the mindset. 

 

 
The Science of Cuckoldry
By sex therapist &  
relationships counselor Susan Gower


After studying human sexuality for many years it has become  inarguable to me that a cuckold relationship (in which the wife engages  in sexual activity with a variety of men while her husband remains  faithful) is most compatible with basic human evolutionary make up. It  is straying from this evolutionarily grounded human bonding  relationship that has produced such misunderstandings and conflict  between the sexes.
 
 
At the very base of this principle is the understanding of a woman’s  sychological need for a variety of sex partner’s. Psychologically,  women are hardwired differently than men. A woman has a dual sex drive.  The first is centered on finding a mate for life to help support her  and her offspring. This is why (and when) love is such an important  part of a women’s sexual desire. The second is a desire to obtain a  variety of the best genetic material to produce the best children. This  second desire begins to grow once a woman has found her life mate and  grows stronger as time with him progresses. Eventually, this later and  more powerful drive overpowers her sexual desire for her life mate.  This is why a woman’s sexual desire for her husband diminishes over  time. At the same time her sexual desire for other men is increasing.  Often this desire for other men becomes so strong she cannot deny it.  This does not make her immoral or mean that she no longer loves her  husband. It is simply part of her genetic code.
 
 
Physiological sexual differences between men and women also support  the cuckold relationship as the ideal for marriage. It is well known  that women don’t reach her sexual peak until they are in their  thirties, while men peak by the time they are twenty. In a typical  marriage, a wife is generally younger than her husband or the same age.  As a result, a woman’s increasing sexual appetite, do to her   biologically age based sex drive, gives her greater sexual needs than  
her husband. She needs more sexual encounters, longer sexual encounters  and more orgasms than her spouse. Her older or same age husband, on the  other hand, wants sex far less than his wife, oftentimes lasts only a  few minutes before he reaches orgasm and then, no longer interested in  sex, leaves his wife unsatisfied and frustrated. As a marriage  continues this discrepancy in sexual needs increases dramatically,  usually to the breaking point of a wife secretly finding a lover or  lovers outside the marriage.
 
 
Compounding this is that nature has not only given women a two prong  and exponentially stronger sex drive than men, it has also given women  the ability to experience a far greater quantity, intensity, and  variety of sexual pleasure and orgasm than men. This is nature’s way of  motivating a woman to seek out sexual activity considering the risk she  bears in doing so. (Even though today’s contraceptives greatly reduce  these risks, they do nothing to diminish the internal triggers that  drive a woman’s need for a variety of sex and sex partners. If  anything, this reduction of risk intensifies her drive to seek  pleasure.)
 
 
As a result, women can experience a wide range and intensity of  sexual pleasure and diversity of orgasm. Besides the pleasure and  orgasms derived from manual, oral and coital stimulation of a woman’s  clitoris, all three of which feel distinctly different, a woman can  reach a completely different sensation of pleasure and a completely  different orgasm from the stimulation of her g-spot by a well endowed  man. A woman can even reach orgasm by proper stimulation of her nipples  if she has been brought to a state of intense clitoral arousal.  Stimulation of her nipples and clitoris at the same time will give her  a yet another unique intense orgasm. Her ultimate height of pleasure is  found in oral or manual titillation of her clitoris while  simultaneously having her g-spot stimulated. It is interesting that  this is best accomplished by the use of multiple sexual partners,  suggesting nature’s preference for male, female, male couplings.  Finally, the crowning pinnacle of a woman’s sexual superiority is her  ability to have a multiple orgasm and full body orgasmic experiences.
 
 
Men, on the other hand, are far simpler sexually. Stimulate their  glans (the little patch of skin at the front of the penis just below  it’s head) and they ejaculate. Furthermore, men can get nearly the same  level of satisfaction from masturbating as the do completing a sex act  with a woman. For women, masturbation will give them only temporary  relief. Women need to have sex with a partner to be fully satisfied,  especially psychologically.
 
 
The male also has a much simpler sex drive than a woman. He simply  wants to mate with any female he finds desirable. The longer he is  denied sex, the stronger his desire grows and the criterion by which he  finds a woman desirable lowers. Since it is the woman who decides if he  will be allowed to have sex with her or not, his desire for her  sexually is also linked to the desire for her approval. As he becomes  more interested in her the desire to please her as a way to get sex can  become overwhelming for him. That is why you will often see men acting  foolishly in front of females they desire, even though they have no  chance to have sex with them. That is also why, once married, a man  will begin to take his wife for granted; now that he has easy  availability of sex from her, she becomes less desirable to him.
 
 
One might think that this is a good argument for having an open  marriage in which both a wife and her husband find sexual partners  outside their marriage. Interviews with couples in open marriages have  shown that these marriages almost always lead to a competition between  the two spouses regarding who is having more sex with more partners. A  wife will always win this competition because it is much easier for a  woman to find sexual partners than it is for a man. The competition,  however, can become nasty, ugly and often cruel. A wife will sometimes  be drawn into the competition so deeply she will have sex with far more  men than she wishes too, and her husband will have growing feelings of  inadequacy, as he cannot keep up with his wife. This kind of  competition almost always destroys a marriage.
 
 
Furthermore, the idea of open marriage assumes the erroneous notion  that men need a variety of sex partners. While all evidence indicates  that a married woman both physiologically and psychologically does need  
a variety of sexual partners, a married man does not. The genetic code  that drives a man is the thrill of pursuit, not the need for variety.  Husbands in clinical studies who’s desire for their wives have waned  
and who’s interest have turned to other women have been completely  turned around when their wives begin using arousal and denial  techniques on them. These techniques instill uncertainty in the husband  
as to whether he will be allowed to complete a sex act with her or not.   Time after time, in study after study, these husband’s desires have  been focused back to their wives exclusively, losing all interest in  other women. The wives in these studies were even able to vary their  husband’s level of interest through increasing or decreasing their  application of arousal and denial techniques. It was further found that  when these same wives reverted back to traditional sexual practices  with their husbands, their husbands began to loose interest again and  began to again look at other women as possible sex partners.
 
 
Interestingly, it was during the sexually repressive Victorian Era  that an unusual mix of cuckoldry and the sexual arousal and denial of  males was employed. It was believed at that time that many ills were  caused by excessive male ejaculations. They believed that loss of sperm  contributed to a whole host of maladies, from asthma to mental illness.  As a result, chastity devices were often prescribed for men. This  practice was so pr Mine will be the most scrumptiously naughty story of any  lady tomorrow at tea)
 
 
Another journal tells how excited one wife was that she had her  husband doing housework, an unheard of practice at a time when male and  female roles were so rigid, illustrating again how arousal and denial  of sex can totally alter a man’s behavior. Other journal entries tell  of the rise in attention from their husbands and the thrill of sneaking  around behind their husband’s back and having sex while their husband  was “locked in his cage.”
 
 
While diagnosing the damage done to women by denying them the  fulfillment of their sexual needs may have been falsely labeled  hysteria, the doctors of Victorian times were startlingly near the  mark. Victorian doctors had insightfully identified the need women had  for sex with a variety of men.
 
 
Unsurprisingly, since human societal structures were originally  matriarchal, societies that still live today in ways closer to our  original female and male roles do not suffer from the damages of  psychological and physiological stress. These more basic societies, far  from the modern world, are nearly always matriarchal. It is the women  in these societies who control property, family affairs and sexual  activity. These women will usually have multiple husbands and lovers. One or two of these men provide them with food, shelter and security,  while the others provide them with sex. Male, female, male couplings  are not only accepted, but quite normal. In some societies, certain  “stud” males will exclusively service a wife, in others, wives will  share, exchange and even trade stud males. Men in these societies are  happy in their subordinate roles to women. While there are some  incidents of jealousy, there is no violence, crime, or sexual  
perversion. Men are focused on pleasing their wives instead of  impressing other women in the group or competing with other men, except  in the area of being good sex providers. Wives will keep this  competition light and fun andongoing. Men focused on this kind of  competition do not compete with each other in other ways either,  leading to much stronger male/male friendships and cooperation.
 
 
An unlikely place further confirmation of the appropriateness of  cuckolding in human bonding relationships was discovered in the  findings of primate studies. In one study, researchers found two  anatomical influencers of fidelity in primates. One was the physical  size difference between the sexes. The other was the male’s ratio of  penis size to body mass.
 
 
It was found that in those species of primates where the female was  considerably larger than the male, the female would have many sexual  partners and bond with none. As female/male size became closer, the  female would bond with one male. This male would remain faithful to  her, but she would continue to have sex with non-bonded males. It was  found that this was not reversed until the male became extremely larger  than the female.
 
 
The second influencer the researchers discovered was the ratio of  penis size to body mass. In species where the difference in physical  size between the sexes was slight, (as it is in humans) the penis to  body size ratio increased female dominated sexual behavior. The smaller  the penis to body size, the more bonded males were restricted to  activity with only their mate while females would engage in sexual  activity with a variety of non-bonded males. Within these groups,  females would generally bond with males with smaller penises and engage  in sexual activity with better-endowed, non-bonded males. The most  common activity between females and their mates was grooming and  
eating, with the far greater amount of sexual activity occurring  between mated females and males other than their mates. Neither mated  nor non-mated females would engage in sexual activity with bonded males  who were not their own mates. The most frequent sexual activity of  bonded males was masturbation.
 
 
This study particularly intrigued me because it’s findings  correlated so closely with my own experiences. I have assisted many  couples in beginning and maintaining cuckold relationships. Among my  patients, husbands with smaller penises were not only more agreeable to  being cuckolded, but would even sometimes suggest it. These very  enlightened, lesser-endowed, husbands were keenly aware of their  inability to satisfy their wives sexually. By accepting their wives engaging in sex with other men they were relieved of the pressure to  perform.
 
 
It makes sense that this behavior would be present in humans since  humans are primates whose difference in size between the sexes is  slight and men’s penises are very small when compared to their body  mass. Also interesting is that women, like other primate females, will  rarely engage in sex with married men. A husband’s wedding band makes  for a fairly efficient chastity device.. A wife’s wedding band,  however, does little and sometimes even encourages pursuit by men. This  further illustrates that the innate human proclivity for cuckold  relationships goes genetically even deeper.
 
 
Our modern morals and the female/male roles imposed on us by society  are not only aberrant behavior given our genetic make up, but  psychologically unhealthy and morally unethical. It is unfair that a  woman is forced to repress the powerful sex drives that are so  genetically imbedded in her psyche. Most married woman simply can’t do  it. It is uncountable today how many wives are having sex with other  men behind their husband’s back because our society cannot accept a  woman’s natural needs.
 
 
At what point did we move from a matriarchal to a patriarchal  society that perverted our male and female sexual roles? We have so  inverted out ideas of human sexuality that we have come to believe that  women have a lower sex drive than men when the reverse is true. We  think that men should be free to have sex unbridled, when it is women  who should be freed and men bridled. We have created a society in which  women struggle with guilt and frustration over their natural sexual  needs while men are obsessed with perverted sexual deviations from far  too great an access to far to great a variety of sexual stimuli and  freedom.
 
 
Just as our modern lives preventing us from responding to our need  to express our flight or fight response leads to stress, and our  turning from whole foods to processed foods give us all sorts of  physical ailments, our denial of our natural sexual programming leads  to untold emotional and behavioral problems. It would startle the  average person to learn how many divorces are caused by the inequity of  a woman’s unfulfilled sexual needs. In an effort to protect the man from humiliation it is rarely mentioned in polite society that the  reason for a couple’s divorce was because the wife was finding sexual  satisfaction outside their marriage. If we could be open and honest  about a women’s needs, and that it is not the fault of their husbands  that they need to fulfill those needs outside their marriages, then  maybe we could begin to embrace cuckoldry as a healthy societal norm  and save far more marriages..
 
 
I have saved many marriages in my practice by gently introducing the  idea and practice of cuckoldry to struggling couples. I have seen in my  own female patients that once they start to engage in sex outside their  marriage with the acceptance of their husbands and the security that  their husbands will remain faithful, they become more centered, calm  and confident. Similarly, once their husbands get past their jealous  feelings and fear of inadequacy they become calmer and more mature, no  longer engaging in childish behavior like nights out with the boys or  an obsession with sports. They even loose their interest in pornography  as their wives recounting of their extramarital exploits, or their participation in those exploits, becomes much more titillating to them  than the artificial titillation of pornography.
 
 
When my female clients add the uncertainty principle of arousal and  denial to their cuckold marriage a woman can bring her husband back to  the days when they were first dating. Husbands become more focused on  their wives and no longer suffer the frustrating feelings caused by a  desire for unattainable women
 
 
Cuckold marriages can evolve into a great variety of preferences. In  my own practice I have seen cuckold marriages that range from those in  which cuckolding wives enjoy subjecting their husband’s to humiliation  and punishment, to those in which wives will have sex with other men in  front of her husband as a form of entertaining them, to just about  everything in between. This article was originally posted at the profile of DevotedOne on CollarMe. 
If you see it elsewhere, you now know from where it came.  Most couples in my practice, however, have very  loving marriages with playful arousal and denial that seem conventional  in every way except that the wife dates while her husband remains  faithfully hers.
 
 
It is regretful that the cuckold relationships of Victorian times  could not have evolved into an open way of life accepted by modern  society. It is my hope that one day it will.