Dr. K's Kick-Ass Rant!!!


The Doctor is in Bitches!

As my first post as contributing editor for the site, I am very proud to have my first post be my review of the movie Kick-Ass. Let me start by saying, I LOVED THE BOOK. It fucking spoke to me. The way Millar wrote it, and the way JRR drew it was absolutely magical. I am literally obsessed with it.




My review of the movie adapted from the comic book I am obsessed with can only be described with two words: FUCKING JETPACK?!!?!?

I loved the book because it was independent and it was obviously done how Mark and JRR wanted it. That's what I was hoping with it being an independent movie. I really hoped Matt Vaughn and Jane Goldman were going to stick to the source material. I didn't expect Hollywood crap. I'm surprised they kept Big Daddy's death, and didn't have all three of them flying off into the fucking sunset. And really…no coke? lol. jk

My comparisons:

Big Daddy's "origin" in the book: CLASSIC JAWDROP. Directly under Vader telling Luke in Empire. Seriously, my jaw hit the floor with this, and I LOVED what Mark did with it. I fucking LOVED how pathetic Big Daddy was…but at the same time, he wasn’t pathetic..He was the baddest mother fucker around….. I really “felt” for Big Daddy as a character.
Big Daddy's "origin" in the movie: EPIC cliché. Like seriously, could it have been more cliché? While we are on the subject of Big Daddy in the movie….Thanks Nicholas Cage. Except for the assault scene, I was not much of a fan. I saw what he was doing with the Adam West thing, but I thought even that could have been better. Nic, you are awarded no points and may G-d have mercy on your soul.

Big Daddy death in book: Heart wrenching and traumatic from Kick-Ass's point of view (our main character and protagonist, we are seeing the story from his eyes the whole time). It is at this exact moment where he realizes how much shit he really is in, death is REAL, and he IS going to die for trying to be a Super Hero.
Big Daddy death in movie: More traumatic for Hit Girl, yes I get it. His daughter pretty much watched her father get burned alive while she was trying to save the day. But to be completely honest, I "felt" the horror of it more in the book. I was traumatized at the revelation of his origin which was followed by his GRISLY murder. Mark/JRR…well fucking done on that.

Red Mist Revelation in the book: Another Classic Jaw-Drop. In the book, I never saw it coming, but it made complete sense, and worked PERFECTLY. FYI-Millar did not have Red Mist as D’Amico’s son in the book. Originally he was writing Red Mist as an assassin who D’Amico hired, who realizes that dressing up as a Super Hero will allow him to get close to them. Matthew Vaughn came up with the Red Mist/D’Amicos son arc. That was awesome! I loved that the ultra-antagonists son (whose father thinks he is pathetic) trapped Kick-Ass, and if he was the assassin I definitely would not have liked it as much in the book. So this is what I don’t understand…Matt was thinking straight….but what happened to the rest?
Red Mist Revelation in the movie: THERE WAS NO FUCKING REVELATION. Absolutely Terrible. They took one of the best parts of the book and just removed it from the movie. See above…what the fuck was Vaughn thinking?

Dave/Katie relationship in book: Awesome, and actually honest, that’s what would’ve happened in real life. Nerd tells hot chick who thinks he’s her gay best friend that he isn’t gay and has the hots for her=Nerd’s ass kicked. The book also went along with the character. Dave was a loser in High School. Just because he is Kick-Ass doesn’t make in cool out of the costume. No one knew who he was.
Dave/Kate relationship in movie: EPIC cliché... Yeah, loser in High School gets the smoking hot girl after lying to her that he’s gay. As believable as a Jason Statham movie.

The jetpack was an embarrassment. A FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT. They took a very believable story and material, and basically fucked it in the ass. I can keep going on about how ridiculous the jetpack was..but the more I think about it, the more angry I get about it. Seriously, it angers me. A part in a comic book movie adaptation ANGERS me. I know that is ridiculous to say. I know there is real shit going on in the world today, that a movie should not ANGER me…but it does. I will never understand why these Hollywood shmucks put this stupid shit into movies. Unless they were high…in which case, it makes complete sense.

Listen… I loved how they filmed it like a comic book. I thought it was fantastic, and no other movie hit the “comic book vibe” as dead-on as Kick-Ass. I really really REALLY liked the "unmasking and execution on the internet spin." LOVED IT. should’ve-been-in-the-book-LOVED-IT.. I loved Frank D’Amico’s character. I thought the character was fantastic and Mark Strong played him perfectly...But in the end...I left the theater unhappy.

I am watching again before I keep ripping into it...right now, I think it is a better movie if you didn’t read/like the book...

To Be Continued.

The Doctor is OUT Bitches!

-Dr. K