Journal Entry Saturday - Cloudy warm day.

I was fixing my OLD profile on Myspace and when I read it, I barely recognized myself. I thought, what could I write about me now? I'm not nearly as exciting as I used to be. I'm ok with it. It just doesn't sound as inspiring on paper. Yet, I'm more fulfilled now that I've ever been in all my life adventures. Maybe I had to do all of that in order to appreciate the harmony that my life is in now. My Extreme attitude has come to a full stop. I used to say "Sleep when you're dead." Not anymore. Life's focus is on family and work and not the other way around. So, as part of my saying goodbye to the old me I thought I'd post my old Profile on this site. I have yet to write a new one as the one even before this profile listed things I wished. This profile was an explanation of that current part of me who was fulfilling things I wished for. Now i'm in the part of life where i've done everything I wished for and now just want to start a family and be a working artist. Its seems like such a simple want. Luckily I've a partner I can trust. I wonder what kind of adventures this part of life will bring.

So, Here's the OLD Satine's Profile. Say bye bye...

**Harnessing the power of your own existence is the next step in human evolution.** 

Just a Living Cartoon who’s real life stories are almost as exciting as anything you could dream up. Dubbed “ORGY-NATOR” by the New York Fetish Tribe, I lived up to my title by fulfilling fantasies on and off camera.

A Professional Model, Bondage, Porn and Bondage porn performer from 2005 - 2009. Before 2005 I was a different person with different interests. I lived a completely different life. The Satine before you is the sum of her experiences since entering this bizarre underworld of Sex and Money. Wading through a sea of porn sleaze and thick waves of dominant hands that grope without permission, I’ve arrived in a place where I now know EXACTLY what I’m into and what I am NOT into. I have seen the filthy and have seen the pristine and am now well equipped to play in both realms. Consensual. Negotiated. The fantasies I fulfill from both top and bottom roles are fantasies that most only read about. I live it. I breathe it. … and try to document it.

Thick layered Latex, body bags, Tight corseted leather, Masks that gag, Masks that blind, Thigh Highs that make you topple if you stand. Pissing, Domination, Submission, Fire that burns me into a smile, TIGHT gritty bondage, saran wrap suspension, Temporary Breast Augmentation, Piercing, Tattoos, Zentai, Animal Play, Hook Suspension, Negotiated & consensual Kidnapping, Tribbing, Vacu Beds, Vibrators that rattle your teeth, Orgys, Threesomes, 4 somes, 5 somes, Beating strong men with my fist in their chest, taking a punch in the chest… again both consensual. All of the above Negotiated.

And through it all, I am a student of Tantra. Life tantra and Sex Tantra, I wield my chi and live in each and every moment. Soon I will be able to Teach Tantra and share all of my knowledge with each and every one of you. Connecting with the world and showing everyone how life can be lived is my objective. To open the eyes of many, rather than only one… To love many rather than one, I have that energy and I hope to meet people who encourage this type of living.

The connecting factor of Tantra and bondage is energy exchange. Both exude crazy amounts of endorphins. Tantra builds on sexual endorphins that come from a place of love. Bondage/s&m ride on sexualized endorphins that come from fear or adrenalin. I've been practicing a mixture of Tantric bondage/ s&m. My endorphins come from sexualized adrenalin but are built on love and trust. How does this work with most types of scenes? Well, it doesn’t. My pleasure comes from impact play or constrictive edge play or obedient submission. An interrogation scene does not excite me, being cattle prodded into submission does not excite me. Being rewarded with a cane and brought to orgasm, that is what excites me. Being flogged with love, that excites me. Yelling and screaming at me, not fun. Giving me objectives to complete to make you proud of me, that makes me excited. Building pain tolerance is fun. There is much more to S&M than what you see on the web sites.

What I do for a living is fun to watch and is done for your masturbatory purposes.

Do I have sex like that in real life? Not so much, so don’t try to learn how to have sex by watching porn. Don’t think that all submissive girls like being single tailed.

Read how to sex books & blogs. Read instructional bondage sites. Do a lot of research. The things I do on film are fantasy even though I can take it and get off on it.

… but I’d do it to you if you asked me nicely.