I posted a thread on Facebook about people judging people by their name and assuming that a person's name isn't real, then asking what their real names are. What I got out of the thread: DEAR EVERYONE, Do NOT ask people what their real names are. DO NOT ask people what their real names WERE. It is Offensive. It's Rude, Crude and Simply Disrespectful.
Respect the name that is given. If the person wanted to offer their real name, they would. If they choose at a later date to divuldge that information, let them on their own time.
Here's the thread:
Chef Lina Because some pep don't know any better and ignorant! Some pep growing up in Judgmental family and society. So it comes up when they are interact with others. You have a great name! Thats all what matters!
Sean Xian Juan Blaine I like adding names in the form of titles but I lost "Captain"
Satine Phoenix Some people use it as a way to "get the upper hand" on a very small level. some people are really curious but don't realize that its not their place to ask a question like that.
Sean Xian Juan Blaine @Kathleen, damn right
Satine Phoenix how can u say that about a name Sean? A first impression is based on interaction. With or without a name given. "that guy seems like a jerk" "That girl seems really nice" .. impressions made on actions. With a name included its: "Kat seems really nice" "Mr. Smith seems like a Jerk". First part of a first impression, Last part of a First impression. Is just a piece of the subject: The First Impression.
Sean Xian Juan Blaine @Satine that first vocal exchange can have significant strategy,
Sean Xian Juan Blaine Some times you just like or don't like a person for many possible reasons and I consider this part of my first impression. I look at people with the same perspective as I look at art, and also the same perspective holds for what they say
Kathleen Nicholas Wolfendon You don't need a name to have a first impression, Satine is so right. Your actions upon meeting someone gives the impression not your name. you meet people all day long mostly never get names but you can remember somone solely on the impression they left on you good or Bad. A person's name has nothing to do with an impression of who they truly are or their actions. A name is what we use to help identify each other to have some sort of order in a world of Choas. We all can't go around calling each other "hey you in the blue top." or "Hey girl/boy"
To Question a name offered to you by that person is offensive, rude and disrespectful.
Maeve Harvey I know what you mean satine. Anytime someone hears my name, they automatically ask what it's short for or I that's my real name. It does get old quick. Why should it matter? It shouldn't. Names are just ways of identifying someone. Just like objects have names. In all essence, we are all the same. It shouldnt matter if it's our birth name or not. I agree with you. If you chose your own name you have more say over who you are. You know yourself better than anyone.
Sean Xian Juan Blaine @ Kathleen, Exactly but some people make outrageous claims and call them selves by names that beg one to question. That is the essence of name people will ask at some point why are you called "-------". I requested friendship of "Satine Phoenix" solely upon her name name I had never seen it before, and hence came about this thread!!!
Ancilla Tilia OMG word. This is my life.
Elle Newlands Can we include people who's first question after I talk about my husband: 'is he American?' ... (he's not)... followed by 'did you marry for a green card?'...
I have learned the hard way that people are often threatened by that and those they don't understand. I am used to the ridiculous comments and questions I get asked on a daily basis (some of them you heard in my stand up) but I go to sleep at night knowing that I am a good person and I do good things, so what others think of me or assume about me is their problem. I sleep well :-)
Kathleen Nicholas Wolfendon @ Sean It may Beg the question that you may want to ask but the true question "Should you ask?" Is the real question to be asked.
Sean Xian Juan Blaine @ Kathleen, there in lies the rub. I feel that at some point you have to, although not neccesarily at the first time you hear it.
Satine Phoenix No Sean. Its pretty safe to say that based on the responses in this thread... There is no rub. People don't want to be asked. At no point do you have to ask. If the person with the name chooses to tell you their name, that's their choice.
Ok, say you didn't know me until you saw my name. You chose to befriend someone with my name because it seems interesting to you. That is not a first impression. Seeing a picture of someone is not a first impression. Watching a movie where someone is acting is not a first impression. Knowing what a person does for a living is not a first impression.
Those are all tools that people use to form their own opinions in their head about a person. Their own assumptions. An assumption based on these facts is not a first impression.
Satine Phoenix AND based on this thread people have voiced that they think its rude when people ask them. So... AT NO POINT should anyone ask what a person's REAL name is.
Ancilla Tilia I will never forget the "big name" photographer, who within five minutes of me walking in, bragged about knowing Dita von Teese's "real" name. Wow man, good for you.
What are your thoughts on this topic?
Has what used to be a first impression been clouded and shortened by Social Media? Has the first interaction impression been subsituted with the Web Video, Info page on Facebook, Photo page and friend list? Does your Web Presence = YOU? Has society decided to interpret every day people's actions like they do through analyzing Paparazi pictures?
Call me old fashioned, I really try not to judge people by predetermined stereotypes. When you assume, you make an ass out of yourself.
It seems people can take someone with the name John more seriously than someone named Fragidy.
Are we programmed this way? There was a really good segment of This American Life yesterday where they talked about how people process things that are familiar to them vs things that are "foreign" to them. How they react is based on how they grew up, how they saw others react and where they are regionally. Pretty interesting stuff.
What are your thoughts.